


Lifeboat

by LupusCraven



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angel McNamara, Chandlmara - Freeform, Character Death, Demon Chandler, Depression, Duke is a bitch, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, One-Shot, RIP Chandler, RIP Mac, Read the notes before judging, Sawyer is non-existent, Suicide, no recovery, this is a load of barnacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 19:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14003148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LupusCraven/pseuds/LupusCraven
Summary: "You killed yourself, Heather that-""So did you!"She looked into Heather's eyes, no emotion showing in her own as she spoke softly, looking away to avoid seeing the pain in the older girl's eyes."I didn't kill myself, Heather.."





	Lifeboat

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably going to get confusing.  
> It has just been sitting in my docs for the longest of times and I supposed why not post it before I start on my big project for the Heathers Fandom.   
> (Anyone who loves the Chansaw ship, stay tuned for my huge project. Gonna be around 24 or 25 chapters!)   
> Continuing, this is basically just some Chandler and Mac because they would've been cute together.   
> BASICS BEFORE READING:   
> Chandler is youngest, Mac is oldest.   
> Ram and Kurt were shot and killed by J.D.  
> Chandler drank Drano and the world thinks she committed suicide when she was actually also murdered by J.D.   
> Mac is a depressed child and wants to die,   
> Duke is a fucking cunt nobody likes,   
> Sawyer is half way non-existent and useless.   
> In the beginning Mac will be referred to as Heather and it'll just basically change between her and Chandler, so try and keep up on it! 
> 
> ~Carry on  
> -Lupus

Heather let out a cry as Duke pushed her against the bathroom wall.  
The girl's near black eyes pierced her soul as Heather dropped the bottle of pills to the floor. 

Duke held the girl's gaze for a while,   
Her grip on the girl's collar was near deadly as her knuckles went white. 

"You really think this is going to accomplish anything?" 

Pushing the girl back against the wall,   
Duke spat at the girl's stupidity. 

Kicking the bottle of pills off to the side,  
She looked back at Heather. 

For all of a moment,   
Mac swore she saw pain fill the new leader's eyes..  
If she had,  
It disappeared just as quickly as she saw it. 

Heather couldn't put together words.  
Her voice was caught in her throat and all she could do was cower down at the girl that towered over her.  
Looking back up into Duke's eyes,  
Heather didn't make a move. 

"Go ahead, kill yourself!  
All you do is whine anyways,   
You're better off dead." 

Turning her back on the girl in yellow,   
Duke rolled her eyes,  
Stalking towards the bathroom door. 

She seemed hesitant in her steps,  
And for a second,  
Mac began to believe she was just saying that because people were listening on the other side of the door..

Heather Chandler always used to do the same.  
She'd yell at Mac for being stupid,  
All because people were watching them.   
The girl in red apologized with a hug when she would exit the girl's Porsche and enter her home..

Heather wasn't here now..  
She committed suicide,  
Leaving Mac to be tormented by Heather Duke.   
The girl who stood up for her when she couldn't stand up for herself wasn't here anymore..  
She didn't know what to do with herself..  
Duke was no Chandler..  
So Heather really began to contemplate whether or not the girl would apologize later.   
 _If there was a later..._

Slowly pushing off of the wall,  
Mac frowned,  
Tears forming in her eyes as she shook her head.  
She didn't want to believe what the girl in green was saying.  
She couldn't..  
Duke was her best friend..  
They've been through so much together!   
She can't...  
She can't-

"You don't mean that, Heather! You don't-" 

"Did you swallow a brain tumor for breakfast, Heather? Does it look like I'm pulling your dick?" 

Backing up against the wall as Duke took a step forward,  
Heather shook her head,  
Tears streaming freely down her face. 

For a moment,   
She saw Duke's movements falter.   
But,  
Similar to Chandler,   
The girl had a switch,  
And it clicked.  
Just like that.

Venom entered the green clad girl's eyes as she snickered, turning to the bathroom door,  
Grabbing the handle,  
She called over her shoulder as she left. 

"Say 'Hi' to Heather for me, would you? Tell her the school is in better hands." 

The door slammed,  
And just like that,  
Mac fell. 

Her back connected with the wall all the way down as she let her cries echo off the walls in the bathroom.  
She didn't care who heard her..  
Heather was right..  
She was better off dead. 

Looking across the bathroom,  
Heather ran her fingers under her eyes before shaking her head and breaking down. 

Chandler wasn't here to be her knight in shining armor.  
She wasn't going to feel the girl's warm embrace and feel her hand run through her hair as she shushed her quietly. 

For a second,  
She believed she would when her cries turned to whimpers and a cool breeze blew through the bathroom from the open window. 

The pill bottle was inches from her..  
All it took was a handful.  
Hell...  
Why not the whole damn thing? 

Grabbing the bottle,  
Heather shook her head as she mumbled quietly to herself. 

"This is the right thing to do..  
He-Heather's right.." 

Fumbling with the cap,  
She cursed aloud as she tried to get the cap off.   
 _Stupid childproof caps._

It all seemed right..

"I-I can party when I get to Heaven!   
Me, Heather, Ram, and Kurt can all have fun.  
It'll be great.." 

Tears streamed down the girl's face as she spoke.  
Her words were only reassuring her that she was making the right choice, when for a fact,   
She knew she wasn't.  
She had no other choice in her eyes,   
She lost her place as a Heather..  
She wasn't strong to stand beside Duke..  
Heather just wanted to leave..

Finally opening the bottle,  
Heather froze as she took the cap off,  
Looking at the circular tablets.

Looking at the tablets,  
Tears began to cloud her vision as she cried out her words,  
A smile slowly replacing her frown.

"It'll be great." 

Pouring all of the pills out into her hand,  
She looked at them.  
A part of her screamed her name.  
Screamed for her to stop what she was doing.   
 _This isn't the answer!  
_ She still had people that loved her.  
People who would protect her..  
 _People who would fight for her.  
_ People like Veronica..  
People like Heather...

"This is it.." 

Looking around her once more,  
She looked back to her hand.  
The pills sat there,  
Taunting her. 

This needed to happen!  
She'd be reunited with Heather!  
With Ram!  
With Kurt!  
This was the right choice..  
 _...Right?_

Her heart pounded in her ears as she brought her hand closer to her mouth,  
Almost procrastinating the inevitable.

She was meant to die..  
She'd be back with her friends.  
She wouldn't have to worry about Duke's reign.  
She'd deliver Duke's message,  
Of course she'd leave out certain parts..  
But she knew Duke no longer needed her..  
Heather on the other hand..  
Mac was rather sure that Ram and Kurt weren't the greatest of company for the girl in red..  
Heaven seemed like such a nice place regardless of who was there..  
No problems.  
No homework..  
No Duke..  
Just happiness..  
And Heather Chandler.  
And Ram and Kurt.   
This was the right thing do do. 

"I'm coming, Heather.." 

Throwing her head back,  
The pills slipped into her mouth and she swallowed what she could.  
As she did,  
The door was thrown open with a loud bang. 

"No, no, no! Heather!" 

Veronica dropped to her knees instantly by the girl in yellow,  
Clearly scaring her as the girl's eyes filled with tears and she backed further into the wall.   
Heather's head shook as she tried to swallow the rest of the pills,  
Her body almost ready to reject them.  
She could taste the bitterness of the pills beginning to dissolve in her mouth.  
She couldn't stop now..  
She was already too far gone.

"Heather, please.   
Spit them out!" 

Fear clouded Veronica's eyes as her hands came to cup the girl's cheeks,  
Trying to force the girl to open her mouth.

Heather let out a whine as Veronica pushed on her cheeks,  
Her mouth opening and the pills slowly falling out onto the floor below.  
She kept what she could,  
Swallowing the rest as she watched Veronica scowl.  
The girl seemed so determined to get the pills out of her mouth..  
Despite her valiant effort,  
They were already in the girl's system and Heather smiled weakly as Veronica hugged her. 

It wouldn't be long..

* * *

Opening her eyes,  
Mac blinked.   
She was in the bathroom at Westerburg. 

"Wha-" 

Turning around as she heard the door shut,  
Her eyes widened as she saw familiar blonde curls.  
Silver eyes connected with her blue ones and a small smile rested on the older girl's face as McNamara ran to hug the girl. 

No words were spoken as Heather hugged Heather.   
The two were silent as they just held one another like they used to..  
Warmth flooded Mac's system.  
This is what she had wanted..

"You're actually here.." 

Mac wiped her eyes,  
Oblivious to the way her tears sparkled in the sun's rays.  
Or the way that the yellow from her blazer seemed to have become engulfed with the sun's glow,   
Trapping it there forever.  
Or the way her hair sparkled as the sun shown against them..  
She was near oblivious. 

Heather pulled away to look back into Mac's eyes,  
A small smile resting on her lips.

Silver on blue.  
A perfect combination..

Her hand slowly came to rest against the girl's cheek,  
She spoke slowly.

Mac frowned as the girl coughed,  
Blue liquid slowly dripping from the girl's mouth.  
She could see Heather's smile turn to a frown. 

The girl in red turned to look away from the girl in yellow.

Mac instantly stepped forward,  
Her eyes full of concern and confusion.

She was happy.  
She was with Heather!   
Shouldn't she be happy too..? 

"Heather..?" 

Mac slowly came to rest her hand on the girl's shoulder and she was forced to retract her hand as it began to burn.  
Whining at the pain,  
She looked at her hand,  
Seeing neon blue slowly slip into her veins,   
Pulsing like lightning as she looked back to the girl in front of her. 

"You aren't supposed to be here, Heather.." 

Chandler's low voice was quiet.  
Her tone held something Heather couldn't put her finger on..  
But it hurt her.  
Her frown only deepened as she let her next words out,  
Confused with the girl before her. 

"We're together, Heather.. I-Aren't-" 

Tears slowly grabbed at Heather's eyes.  
It wouldn't' be long before they fell,  
And she was going to be breaking down all over again.  
 _Was there any true escape..?_

"Aren't you happy..?" 

With those words,   
Heather Chandler turned to look at McNamara.   
The beautiful girl she had come to know looked at her.  
Blonde curls fell messily around the girl's shoulders,  
Past her robe,  
Showing off the best parts Heather had come to love..  
But...

  
When she looked at the girl now,   
She took a step back,   
Scared with the girl's appearance.

Drain cleaner dripped from Heather's mouth,  
Sliding down her chin and to her neck.  
Her eyes were no longer silver,  
But tinted in the neon blue that she had drunk that fearful night.  
Her pupils glowed a fierce white and her skin paled.  
Her veins pulsed electric blue and Heather shook her head as she watched the girl she had come to love turn away,  
Tears slowly streaming down Chandler's face,   
Thick as though the girl were crying drain cleaner. 

"Of course I'm happy.." 

Chandler didn't look at her.  
Her eyes were connected with the floor beneath them.  
She didn't once look into Mac's eyes as she had done before her true form showed.  
She was broken.  
Cracked..  
Distorted...

Mac went to speak,   
But closed her mouth as Heather spoke. 

"But at the same time..  
No,  
No, I'm not happy.." 

Silence hung in the room as Heather continued speaking.  
Her white pupils came to find Mac's black ones with her precious baby blues. 

"You killed yourself, Heather, that-" 

"So did you!" 

The girl in yellow roared back. 

She clearly wasn't up for hearing the rest of the girl's sentence as she looked at her.  
Pain was clear in the girl's eyes and Heather couldn't feel the pain that she used to.   
She looked into Mac's eyes,   
No emotion showing in her own,  
Yet it played out in her words as she shook her head,  
Tears slipping down her cheeks as she coughed harshly on Drano.  _  
She doesn't know.._

"I didn't kill myself, Heather.." 

Upon hearing those words,  
Heather shook her head,   
Clearly not listening to the demon's words. 

Heather Chandler had killed herself.  
She drank drain cleaner and committed suicide.   
And now she was telling Mac she didn't?   
Did she think she was stupid? 

"You don't need to lie, Heather.   
Trust me,  
I know things were har-"

"I'm not lying to you, Heather!" 

The girl's yell boomed throughout the bathroom and Heather backed away with a small whine as the area darkened.   
She had upset the girl and for once...  
She knew.  
She wasn't lying..  
And it hurt her to know that the girl went out by hands other than her own. 

"Heather..." 

Upon receiving no response from the younger girl,  
Mac slowly came to rest her index and middle finger beneath the girl's chin.  
She winced at the way the contact burned her skin and sent shocks throughout her body,  
But she endured the pain as she looked back into Heather's soulless eyes.  
The girl looked right back at her and for a split second,  
Mac believed she saw pain within the girl's otherwise emotionless gaze.  
It showed her that the girl still had some good left in her. 

"I'm sorry for not believing you, Heather...   
After hearing everyone chant your name in the cafeteria and worship you..  
Well..  
It's hard to believe that someone else took your life from you." 

Mac got a small nod in response and she forced a smile to her saddened features as she watched Heather take her hand and look away.

The girl still had a soft touch.  
Despite the electricity that shot through her body at the contact,  
She endured it all and thought that maybe it would bring her out of Hell and into her arms in Heaven..  
Just maybe..

"I'm here now-" 

"But for how long?" 

Chandler looked up at the older girl's words,   
A frown slowly entering her face as she saw the pain emitting from the girl.

It hurt her to know that she was bringing the girl pain.  
She killed herself to be with her because she believed that she would be happier..  
Chandler watched it herself,  
Having been unable to stop the girl because demonic entities are only meant to aid in the process,  
Not stop it from happening.

"I-I don't know.." 

Heather admitted,  
Looking to the girl. 

They held each other's gaze,  
Pain and sorrow coming form both of their auras.  
It was in that moment that they knew that this wasn't how they wanted things to end.  
In another life hey would've lived happily together..  
Away from the confines of Heaven and Hell..  
Away from death..  
Away from each other..

"I'm sorry, Heather.."

Chandler let out.  
The words slipped from her mouth and with it came a whine that Mac frowned at.

Her arms wrapped around the younger girl's waist and held her close.  
Pain clouded over both of them and they could feel their bodies growing numb as they held their embrace. 

If they were to no longer exist in both reality and the afterlife,   
Unable to live with one another..  
Than so be it. 

A bright light began to over the area and the cries that followed it were deafening..  
Then all was silent. 

* * *

Baby blues opened wide and a scream tore across the room.

Feeling a hand grab her shoulder and pull her flush against a body,  
She felt tears stream down her face. 

_What just happened..?  
_ _It was just a dream..?_

"It was only a dream, Baby Girl. You're alright." 

Feeling a hand run through her dirty blonde curls,  
Mac rested her head in the crook of the younger blonde's neck,  
Breathing out,  
Trying to catch her breath as the girl continued to run her hands through her hair and up and down her back.

She was home.  
In her bed.  
With Heather Chandler.  
Who wasn't dead.  
Didn't commit suicide.  
Wasn't murdered..  
Wasn't a demon...  
She was just Heather Chandler..  
A beautiful blonde that Mac had fallen head over heels for in the 6th grade. 

Heather didn't know how to react.  
Holding Mac close to her,  
She just continued to gently shush the girl,  
Being patient with the way that the girl would continue to let out whines here and there.

It wasn't the first time this had happened.  
It must've been at least the second or third.  
It had almost become a normal occurrence.  
Heather wanted it all to stop.  
Waking up to hear her lover screaming her name..  
It pained her.   
It filled her with terror.  
Like she had just had her head cut off and sent to her in the mail,  
It was fucking horrible. 

"You're alright.." 

Heather sighed as she continued to run her hand through the girl's hair,  
Kissing her softly on the forehead,  
Smiling ever so slightly as the girl wrapped her arms tightly around her and squeezed her like she were going to disappear.

The small whine in her ear made her frown as she placed another kiss on the girl's forehead,  
Hoping it would calm her down and let her know that she was safe.  
Most times that was all it took.  
A kiss and a nice long hug.  
Two things the older girl loved.

The whines died down and Mac held Chandler tightly.

It was just a dream..  
Heather wasn't dead..  
But Fuck..  
It seemed so real.  
She had all of these thoughts,  
She felt the pain shoot through her body..  
It had to mean something,  
It had to be more than just a dream.

_"It was just a dream, Honey.. You're alright."_

The hand playing through her hair was indeed real,  
And he voice cooing in her ear was soft and kind.

Chandler was right..  
It was just a dream.  
No one was dead.  
Duke wasn't a complete dick.  
Mac didn't commit suicide.  
Chandler wasn't murdered..  
It was all just a dream...

_Or was it...?_

 

 


End file.
